Anywhere Else But Here

 

I wish I was in the jungle

Amongst the creepers and vines

You just can’t beat the stinking heat

Oh, it is divine!

Malaria, snakes, and spiders

And fierce, man-eating tigers

I really am sincere

I’d rather be there than here!

 

I wish I was on the ocean

Riding the briny waves

A tropical storm would be a yawn

It’s really what I crave!

Sea-sickness won’t alarm me

Nor if the winds becalm me

I want to be perfectly clear

I’d rather be there than here!

 

I’d love to be in the desert

In miles of burning sand

I’d love to gloat of my parched, dry throat

That really would be grand!

The scorpions all a-crawling

The heat and glare appalling

I’m serious now, my dear

I’d rather be there than here!

 

I wish I was at the North Pole

Surrounded by snow and ice

To have frosty breath and catch my death

It would be so terribly nice!

The killer whale, the polar bear

The thin, thin ice of which to beware

It would really advance my career

If I were there, not here!

 

I wish I was on a mountain

High on a lonely peak

To cling all alone to a cliff of stone

Oh what a thrill to seek!

With fingers and toes all gripping

Until my grip was slipping

The descent would be rather sheer

But I’d rather be there than here!

 

I’d just love to be in outer space

Amongst all the planets and stars

To drift uncontrolled would be really bold

You could never drift too far!

The cold would be intense

And the silence quite immense

And no breathable atmosphere

But I’d rather be there than here!